The authority of parents is the subject of many questions. The desire to put a framework to the child is confronted to an absence of wanting to say « no » to the child. This difficulty raises the question of the child’s place within the family.
Symbolically, the child is placed above the parents, whereas genealogically this is not the case. Places must remain in their place to allow coherence and allow the framework to keep the child in his life. This is all the more important because this framework is synonymous with the Law, that is to say, it governs the relations between people. The Law is indispensable to the future emancipation of the child.
E-ducere means « driving out of ». The emancipation of the child is the objective underpinned by education. Authority, or the presence of laws, is one of the area which constitute education. It is the authority that places the child and the parents in very distinct positions. It also expresses the fact that the child is secondary to a union of a couple. Therefore, the child is not the center of the family, therefore not the center of the world. This differenciation institutes a psychic separation of the child and his parents, which offers him the possibility of a take of autonomy, a curiosity toward the outside world, and a desire for emancipation.
The difficulty of setting up a framework, to embody an authority, can be explained by two main things. On the one hand, by societal et social change. The strict discipline and even maltreatment leave a total freedom to live and do what one wants without any obstacle (May 68). From that period onward authority was regarded as an obstacle to freedom, still today.
On the other hand, there is a individual difficulty in which family and transgenerational problem arise.
Without the authority, how does the trasmission take place, which requires asymmetrical places? How is the framework established if the parental couple takes precedence over the conjugal couple from which the child is born? A solid base is necessary for the child to build his identity.
By giving birth to a child, parents change their generational place and agree to leave their child’s place to their own child. Symbolically, they commit themselves to making this child a balanced person. Therefore, a framework is indispensable to « mark out» the path of life of the child in his first years of life and until his full emancipation. Authority, that is to say, the Law embodied by parents, allows the child to have desire elsewhere, necessary to want and to be able to grow and free himself from parental guardianship.
Love and rule are necessary conditions for the child’s balance. With either one, there is a imbalance and an inability to be an autonomous and fullfilled person.
The difficulty of becoming parent is at the interplay of a family history and a society increasingly based on a claimed liberalism. However the rules of everyday life embody an indispensable law because it is the symbolic framework that prevents people from getting lost. In this sense, it humanizes the relationship between human beings. It is essential to « mark out » the path of the child, whatever this path, because it is from this path that the child will build and make his choices.
Hurstel, F.(2004) Quelles fonctions parentales d’autorité pour le jeune enfant ? DIALOGUE. Recherches cliniques et sociologiques sur le couple et la famille. 3e trimestre, n°165, pp.69-77.
Bibliographie
Arendt, H.(1954). « Qu’est ce que l’autorité ? ». Dans Crise de la culture, Paris, Gallimard.
Benghozi, P. (dir.). « Adolescence, violence et agressivité ». Dans Adolescence et sexualité. Liens et maillage-réseau, Paris, L’Harmattan.
Chenu, M.D.(1976). La théologie au XIIe siècle. Paris, Vrin. 76 Dialogue 165.
Dolto, F. (1984). L’image inconsciente du corps. Paris, Le Seuil.
Dolto, F. ; Ruffo, A.(1999). L’enfant, le juge et le psychanalyste. Entretiens. Paris, Gallimard.
Dolto, F.(1984). L’image inconsciente du corps. Paris, Le Seuil.
Eliacheff, C.(1997). Vies privées. De l’enfant-roi à l’enfant-victime. Paris, Odile Jacob, Folio Essais.
Hoogstoël, M.(2003). « S’imposer à la maternelle : des maîtresses au front ». Le journal des professionnels de l’enfance, 23.
Hurstel, F.(1996). La déchirure paternelle. Paris, PUF, 3e éd., 2002.
Hurstel, F.(2001). « Qu’est devenue l’autorité des parents ? ». Comprendre, Le lien familial, 2, Paris, PUF.
Julien, P.(2000). Tu quitteras ton père et ta mère. Paris, Aubier.
Kammerer, P.(2000). Adolescents dans la violence. Paris, Gallimard.
Lacan, J.(1955). « La chose freudienne ». Dans Écrits, Paris, Le Seuil, 1967.
Legendre, P.(1993). Les enfants du Texte. Étude sur la fonction parentale des États. Paris, Fayard.
Legendre, P.(1989). Le crime du caporal Lortie. Paris, Fayard.
Ortigues, M.-C. & E.(1987). Comment se décide une psychothérapie d’enfants ? Paris, Denoël.
Visier, I.; Zoïa, G.(2001). « Les grands frères des banlieues. L’invention d’une autorité ». Enfance et Psy, Graines de violence, 11, Toulouse, érès.
