I had my first internship as a clinical psychologist in a day-care centre for children with behavioral disorders (ages six to twelve). I worked there two days a week from October to June and was in charge of the therapeutic follow-up of seven children. I also participated in different weekly group activities such as improvisational theater and woodworking. One of my first patients was Sandy, a nine-year-old girl, who really made my internship special. She had been suffering from mental anorexia since she was a toddler after she had been separated from her mother and her two half-brothers in a violent fight between her parents. After the separation she lived with her father at her grandmother’s until the age of five, seeing her mother only every other weekend before moving back in with her mother and half-brothers. During her early childhood she developed behavioral disorders such as insulting people, being violent, hitting other children, etc. Thus, after a weekly follow-up by a psychologist in a medical care centre, she had been admitted at the day-care centre three years before I began to work there.
I remember our first session which took place in the psychomotricity room. Physically and mentally she was closer to a six-year-old than a nine-year-old so our sessions were mainly based on games for little ones. Except for sports: she loved sports and was rather good at it. Apparently she played some ball games at home with her brothers. So, for the first session she wanted to play basketball with me. I am really bad at ball games and missed the basket almost every time. She was very kind and patient and said that she would teach me how to play. She referred to herself as my personal coach and showed me how to get into the right position and how to throw the ball. I didn’t really get better at playing basketball, but it was nice to see how she encouraged me, saying that it does not matter not to play well, but to just try again. Despite her difficult life at home and the fact that she was being neglected, she was still able to be that kind and smiling person. After these sessions it was always quite surprising how aggressive, violent and insulting she could become when she was frustrated.
After a few sessions, she asked me if I had something to eat as she was very hungry. Quite frequently, her mother didn’t take care of her in the mornings and she didn’t eat on a regular basis. So, I got some cookies and fruits for her and it became our habit to eat at every session. With my tutor at the day-care centre we decided to take this as an opportunity to work on her anorexia. She said that helping Sandy find pleasure in eating would be good for her therapy. During these sessions she told me a lot about what was going on at home while playing with the food or pretending that we were in a very expensive restaurant. It was difficult for me to see that she would eat very small quantities and I sometimes could not hold back the maternal instinct in me and try to make her eat more. Of course, that was the worst thing to do and I quickly learned that I should rather not insist, but play with the food instead and let her decide on the quantities she would eat. I learned that pleasure during the meal and not pushing her was much more efficient.
For a young psychologist it is very surprising to see how changing these children can be. Their mood can change within a minute and a very smiling and kind child can become extremely aggressive and violent within a second. Thus, it is essential to stay calm at all times and be very patient. Many of them live through very difficult situations at home, but unfortunately the welfare system does not have enough means to protect all of them and there are not enough foster families to take over. Moreover, French law is not in favor of separating children from their parents unless their lives are in jeopardy. This is sometimes very hard to accept as a psychologist and when you are in charge of a child who is neglected and mistreated very frequently, it is very difficult not to be very frustrated by the system and only focus on the therapy instead. I managed to do so by telling myself that every day at the day-care centre is a positive day in the lives of these children, that we can provide them with things they would never experience if they would not come to the centre. Moreover, I think that we are able to help these children understand that they can become the actors of their lives and that their behavior will help them get accepted by people, other than their families. Sandy is a good example: although she can be very aggressive and hostile, she is still able to be very kind and smiling. Thanks to this capacity she has many friends and is very appreciated by adults who make her acquaintance.
Thus, these day-care centres are a very good solution for children which such difficulties. Childcare workers, specialized teachers, and therapists take care of them and teach them channel their frustration and fears. These professionals accept their aggressiveness and destructivity and help them express it differently.
This year my internship takes place in another institute for adolescents (ages twelve to twenty) and some of these youngsters were in that day-care centre before, so I can see the positive evolution they have made thanks to this centre, thanks to the amazing people who work there. On the basis of these experiences I am full of hope that these children’s lives can be durably and positively changed and it makes my professional choice even more meaningful.
Vocabulary:
internship : stage
day-care centre : centre d’accueil de jour
behavioral disorder : trouble du comportement
foster family : famille d’accueil
welfare system : système social, système de protection des familles/enfants
in jeopardy : en danger
childcare worker : éducateur spécialisé pour enfants
to channel : canaliser