A movie by Cédric Klapisch, 2017, France. Original title : “Ce qui nous lie”.
After ten years of travel, and almost five without giving news, Jean, the eldest sibling of a wine-grower family, is back in his native Burgundy. He’ll meet again his little sister and brother, Juliette and Jérémie, recently married and dad of a little boy. Around the death of their father and the heritage question the three will experience a new journey – through the past, conflicts and transmissions. Their childhood is step by step lightening their present. Why is Jérémie still considered with his wife Océane as a child in his family-in-law? Why is Juliette not self-confident even if she is the new boss of the family wineyard? Why is Jean torn between France and Australia (where he left his wife, Alicia, and their child, Ben) even if he claims he “doesn’t give a shit” about his french land?
According to the structural approach, one of the systemic theory’s point of view, each member of this family has roles. John is the eldest sibling, who protects his brother and his sister. Juliette acts as mediator between her two brothers. In the hierarchy, she holds a large part of the power. Jérémie has an ambivalent role because he perpetuates the family’s heritage, while remaining in the place of the younger brother who is protected. As for the mother, she calms conflictual relationships and conveys unity. Juliette will take on this role in adulthood. The father brings the requirement and transmits the heritage of the ancestors.
The roles are connected with the rules that a family system gives itself. In this family, all the members are united. For example, the mother brings them together around a “family hug”. Everyone feels involved in each other’s problems. In children’s and parents’ minds, siblings will take over the estate in an egalitarian manner. At the notary’s office, the indivisibility of the inheritance symbolizes this equality among the siblings. Jean went against this rule by leaving the vineyard a decade ago. Moreover, one can notice a symbolism in the choice of wine by the directors. Wine has both something mysterious for the uninitiated and something unifying, something that brings people together. Based on these rules, we can try to find the myth of this family: “We are a united family, united in happy and difficult times. The transmission of the domain and the winemaking knowledge is the key to this uniqueness. »
Related to contextual approach, another systemic theory’s point of view, the movie shows examples of the equity to “give and receive”. This movement begin when one family member gives something to another, and this gift creates a debt the other one would (or not) – consciously or unconsciously – pay later. To illustrate, Jean received a letter written by his father before he died. Thanks to his little brother, Jérémie, we understand this moment is really meaningful for Jean. His brother took a jacket which had belonged to the father when Jean received the paper: both have their transmission part. His father says to him in the letter “I love you son” which establishes between them the give/receive dynamic for the first time.
Further, “the give and receive” can refer to Boszojmeni-Nagi conceptualization. This psychiatrist brings the concept of loyalties, described as the first connection with our family. He distinguishes vertical and horizontal loyalties. Vertical loyalties refer to the family’s link between parents and children, while horizontal loyalties underlie the link between brothers and sisters.
About vertical loyalties, the movie shows examples with both parents. With the mother, children remain loyal towards the rule of being united, and must not argue. Moreover, the imperative “we must” used by one sibling calms relationships. The rule prevails. Juliette for example is loyal to her mother when she takes her place in roles of mediator between the brothers, and between Jean and Alicia. She acts exactly like their mother, saying for gathering: “all together, family hug!”
Now, to pursue on the vertical loyalties, we can talk about father and children loyalties. For Jean, the relationship with his father is difficult because the latter never really considered him before (in the past and before he died). So, Jean had chosen to travel the world as a solution to protect himself and escape from his patriarchal family. Despite a negative and destructive loyalty toward his father, he came back when he learnt his father was about to die. An invisible loyalty led him to come back for a last chance to be recognized and have a legitimacy. Finally, Jean got to be recognized after his father died. The letter, given by his little brother, allows Jean to feel better. A reparation process can start for him. Through his memories, Jean realizes his father has always loved him. He can therefore move peacefully to build his own life.
Juliette has many responsibilities given by her father. She is the father’s heritage guardian, preventing her from making the vineyard hers. When the father, the family pillar, disappeared, roles and heritages are questioned. Little by little, Juliette gains self-confidence in her work thanks to her brothers, giving her a space to express herself. She can finally make her own decisions, and set her own rules.
Jérémie is “the last sibling” in the family. Little brother, he is also the last in the art of wine. He has no talent to recognize tastes and flavours, to predict weather: he doesn’t have the wine-grower instinct. In spite of all the efforts and support of his father, he never got it. With his father-in-law, wine-grower too, he is ready to accept all his rules – even if he has to sacrify his independence – to reach the status of “able to make wine”. He has never been able to pay back the debt. This quest proves to be impossible: obey to his father-in-law is not compatible with being loyal to his own heritage. In a loyalty conflict between an impossible transmission (his family) and an infantilizing reparation tentative (his family-in-law), he has to find his own legitimacy regarding to his father to make his own life unique and differentiated.
There is no doubt the concept of debt is key to understand what binds the siblings. Boszojmeni-Nagi explains that children have an important debt to pay to their parents : to be alive. The child tries to pay back the debt by giving satisfaction, offering things to parents (like growing well, helping…). When those things are accepted and congratulated by the parent, the child is invested by a constructive legitimacy. He is legitim to be, because his gift has a value. When the gift is ignored or punished, the child is invested by a destructive legitimacy; he has a bigger debt to pay and the legitimacy of his existence can be questioned. Along the movie, the siblings will enter a constructive legitimacy by making theirs the familial myth. Freed of a destructive debt, they can be allowed to build their own life, with their own rules.
Suzanne Cilurzo,
Anahi Dugarte-Butel,
Prosper Gauthier
Words we have learnt
- prove to be : s’avérer être
- to be key : être un élément clé
- to be torn between : être tiraillé entre
- requirement : exigence
- for gathering : pour rassembler
- meaningfull : significatif
- siblings : la fratrie
- wine-grower : vigneron / wineyard : vignoble / winemaking : viticulture
- Burgundy : Bourgogne
Images found at the following adresses :
https://images.app.goo.gl/JWfg2sLC752C9biG9
https://images.app.goo.gl/t9cgx76oQpVpcgZU8
https://images.app.goo.gl/q7q73SJCrnYPcnzZ6