Journalist : Hello ! I hope you’re fine, welcome on Psychocast! Today a new subject: the savior syndrome. We invited Mathilde Lemarié, clinical psychologist, who is going to explain the syndrome and give us examples.

Hello Ms Lemarié, first permit me to define the syndrome briefly. Would you say if I had really understood? 

Psychologist : Hello, of course, let’s do it ! 

Journalist : According to the public opinion, a savior is a person who always needs to help others, not imagining a relationship without the help. He feels useful and loved only when he helps people. We speak about excessive altruism, which exceeds the ask for help. But the real goal for the savior is to create a dependence, preventing autonomy of the others. Thus, it creates a powerful feeling.

So what can you say more about the syndrome?

Psychologist : Indeed, the savior is a workaholic. His job? Superhero! He likes to defend the oppressed and lost causes. In short, the savior wants to save the world. Very often, he is seen as a strong, balanced and altruistic person. However, this protective aspect can be infantilizing to the other person.  Unconsciously, he creates moral debts in order to keep people on his side. This syndrome is explained through Karpam’s model in which there are three protagonists: the savior, the victim and the persecutor. I’m asking you directly, how could you define these different roles? 

Journalist : I read something on that model and if my memories are correct, the victim is a kind of plaintive person, with a passive attitude towards the events that happen. She’s defining herself as  innocent and powerless, faced with the situations she meets. Persecutor  is rather a daily bully, who denigrates others and he is always discontent with what they do.

Psychologist : That’s almost exactly what I wanted to say. These different roles are psychological games and are played unconsciously by each protagonist. Each actor has a role he prefers to play but when you enter the triangle, you can only go round and round being robbed of your place. 

Journalist : So for example, the savior helps a victim.  But this victim can in turn become a persecutor because she asks help permanently to the savior, telling that his help is not sufficient for example. In this case we can say that the savior becomes the victim and the victim becomes the persecutor. Is that right?

Psychologist : Yes, that’s right! 

Journalist : And where do the roles, the syndromes, come from?

Psychologist : All these roles were once adapted to real situations. The persecutor was really frustrated by those around him, the rescuer was forced to do a lot to get minimal signs of attention and the victim really experienced dramatic and painful situations. The role of the savior is also a way of escaping one’s own problems by taking care of those of others. They have often been parentified as children and given heavy tasks too early. 

Journalist : That is interesting because we know that a lot of pathologies often come from events in infancy , even though this is always an association of different factors. But here again, there is a link between infancy and the roles we speak about.

Psychologist : yes you’re right.

Journalist : I was thinking, what do you think about the savior syndrome in your profession? As a psychologist, is there a risk to fall into this pathological help?

Psychologist : A large number of professionals working in the medico-social field have this role of rescuer : Firemen, doctors, nurses, psychologists…To get out of the role of the rescuer, the individual must be considered as a responsible and autonomous person, able to get out of it alone. The rescuer must also learn first of all to become his or her own rescuer because this role is also a way of escaping his or her own problems by taking care of those of others.

Journalist : So can a help’s relationship be safe?

Psychologist : Of course, relationships can be built on exchanges of services and processes, but for this to happen, requests for help must be clearly verbalized (for example, there is a difference between “I’m thirsty” and “please give me a glass of water”). Furthermore, the assistance must be time-bound and must aim at the return of the person’s autonomy. 

Journalist : Your words remind me of a Chinese proverb: “whose giving fish to the hungry man is feeding him for the day. Whose learned him to catch, is feeding him for life”.

I thank you so much, Mrs Lemarié, for coming here because I really think that your words could help some people who recognize themselves on that subject. So thank you again, and to our auditors, see you next time ! 

Bibliography : 

Petitcollin, C., & Augagneur, J. (2014). Petit cahier d’exercices pour sortir du jeu victime, bourreau, sauveur. Jouvence éditions.

Ruiz, M., & Nelson, M. C. (1997). Beyond Fear : A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy, The Teachings of Don Miguel Ruiz (1st éd.). Chicago Review Press.