Angélique Veillaux, Joséphine Alliaud, Pauline Le Brun-Didou
Book review, cognitive psychology
A reading report : Psychotherapeutic look at the four Toltec agreements.
The “Four Toltec Agreements” is a book published in 1997 and written by Don Miguel
Ruiz, a former Mexican neurosurgeon. It has been sold in millions of copies around the world. In
this book, Don Miguel reveals the source of the limiting beliefs that robs us of joy and creates
unnecessary suffering. He shows in very simple terms how we can free ourselves from the
collective conditioning in order to rediscover the dimension of unconditional love that is at our
origin and constitutes the foundation of the Toltec agreements.
The four tolled agreements are as follows: Let your word be impeccable, Never take things
personally, Don’t make assumptions, Always do your best. Today there is a fifth Toltec
agreement: Be sceptical and learn to listen. In a certain way, it is possible to make a link between
the four Toltec agreements, psychology and some forms of therapy. Indeed, these maxims are tools
that are aiming to help people to live freely, intensely and healthily and to be at peace with
themselves. Finally, every therapy is searching for the same goals. We can imagine that each
agreement is a kind of popularization of concepts used in psychology and therapy to help patients
find inner peace. In reading these agreements, we saw links with certain psychotherapies such as
the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (Beck & Beck, 2011), and the Acceptation and Commitment
Therapy (Hayes et al.,1999).
The first agreement says let your word be impeccable. It refers to the vigilance that we
must have in our observations and to differentiate them from any form of judgment. In ACT
therapy, the therapist will invite the patient to observe without judgement what is going on inside
him/her, to accept his/her thoughts and feelings while maintaining a benevolent attitude towards
his/her thoughts and words. Being attentive to the quality of one’s observations and the words that
result from them is in line with this first Toltec agreement
The second agreement is never take things personally. Here again we find notions close to
the ACT. Not taking anything personally means not considering that thoughts has the same value
as perceptions, that it is not the truth. In other words, it is a question of distancing ourselves from
our thoughts and those of others. The therapist aims to break the cognitive fusion that is the source
of suffering and negative thoughts in the patient.
The third Toltec agreement says that one should not make assumptions or judgements about
others as this is a source of suffering. Indeed, from a psychopathological point of view, assuming
about the reactions, actions and thoughts of others could be a symptom of anxiety or even a
paranoid disorder. Applying this third Toltec agreement to psychology means changing our
thinking patterns and actions from ruminations based on the unknown to communication. This is
the essence of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which aims to break these negative thought patterns.
The Fourth Toltec Agreement suggests the idea that it is important to do one’s best in all
circumstances. Once again, if we relate this agreement to psychology, we can easily make a link
with the theme of motivation. Doing one’s best here refers to intrinsic motivation, i.e. acting freely,
for the sake of one’s own will. Intrinsic motivation is an enrichment of self-esteem and selfconfidence
because we are certain that we have done our best at that moment. This agreement
illustrates the notion of committed actions in ACT therapy. Indeed the therapist leads the patient
to engage in actions that tends towards values that are essential for him or her. The therapist invites
the patient to freely choose to act towards what matters by doing their best.
Finally, the last agreement is Be sceptical and learn to listen. This refers to the idea of
helping the patient to become aware that his reality is his own, that it is the same for everyone.
This perception is shaped by our senses, our personal history, our beliefs, the language we use,
everything we have learned. The therapy helps to make the patient aware of the fact that we all
live in a world that is more or less different from the others. That we must remain sceptical and
accept these differences in truth. Learning to listen will enable us to interact with the world of
others in a harmonious, respectful and richer ways, as we improve communication. Listening
carefully allows us to understand the other person, their reality, what they are experiencing, what
they are feeling. It is not a question of believing what the other person tells us, but of taking the
time to listen with kindness, without judgement, in order to create a real link with them. The
relationship is based on our ability to listen, to take an interest, to understand and to respect what
the other person is experiencing.
Beyond the clinical aspect of psychotherapy, these Toltec agreements are also applicable
to the therapist’s posture. Indeed, they illustrate the pillars of the therapeutic alliance, namely: an
empathetic, benevolent, non-judgmental and non-assuming listening, a distancing from what is
said during the session, while making sure to do everything possible so that the relationship with
the patient is beneficial.
We are aware that this book is not based on empirical evidence and is not a scientifically
validated therapy. Nevertheless, it allows the popularization of certain concepts which, applied to
daily life and can contribute to personal development.